Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Heat and Sweat
I guess it's been a few days since my last update. I've been a little busy. Not so much with things to do, but just in my mind. A lot of thoughts.
I blame the heat. I've been seeing a lot of comments from people in the States lately about how hot it is there. Really? On a good day here it's 41C/105F. And it will get even warmer. All my flowers are dying from the heat. At this point in the year, people begin to leave the country and go someplace cooler. My students come to class late, or just don't bother to show up. I've read before that there's a correlation between hot climates and aggression. I can see how that could be true, as being so hot can put anyone in a foul mood, but I fail to see how anyone could have the energy to really be physically violent. All I want to do is sit in my intense lethargy. And think.
Maybe I'd like to get away for a while. Maybe it's the heat, maybe it's homesickness, but I've been finding it difficult to be around people lately. Do you know what it's like to try and work something out in your mind and just want to be left alone? It's like sitting in a sauna...or sitting outdoors in Abu Dhabi. You don't have the energy to deal with others while you sweat out whatever it is that's making your life toxic.
I've chosen to sweat it out though. A couple weeks ago, I said a prayer. I asked God for more life. I always want the most, the limit, the extreme. I can't stand the thought of there being something I'm not getting out of life. I want all I can get and I don't care if I have to bear the heat to get it, to rid myself of anything that makes me toxic or holds me back.
Sweating brings humility. When it's this hot, there's no use in trying to hide that fact that you sweat, that you're human. You can shower, put on perfume and make-up, try to make everyone think you've got yourself together. But just take a step outside, into the heat, and everyone can see your humanity. The businessman, the labor worker, the housemaid all sweat just the same under this sun.
So that's it for me. My make-up is off. I'm sweating and I'm ok with it.